My daughter had her first date this past weekend. And sadly to say, it didn't go as we had hoped. Her 'date' was disrespectful of her and hurt her feelings. Not how a mother wants her daughters first date to go and then the next day he broke up with her. As a mother, naturally i want to kill or at least slap around this little boy, but i can't.
But this did make me stop and think about her and how i can help guide her choices. It is becoming apparent that she is leaving her childhood behind and starting to become the woman she will be. I don't feel it is my place to tell her that she should do this or shouldn't do that, but more to guide her decisions. IMO, the only way that she will become the best possible adult she can be is for her to learn to mak
e good decisions, and we all know that practice makes perfect. So, it is time for me to stop telling her she can't do this (although Mom still has veto power and there are definitely things that are off limits, like drugs and alcohol and sex....) and to relate to the decisions she is struggling to make. She is a great girl with a really good head on her shoulders and i think if i can help her understand how important making a good decision is then she will try to always make the best decision for her. It is up to her when she wants her first kiss to come, not mine or her dad's. As hard as it is to come to this realization, it is going to be even harder in practice. But hopefully, with a lot of reassurance and positive thinking, i can get through this. I am and always will be her mother, but my role of dictating behavior is over. She is a capable young adult who is struggling to find herself and her role among her peers. My job is to help her the best way i can, and that is to listen and give advice, not orders.
e good decisions, and we all know that practice makes perfect. So, it is time for me to stop telling her she can't do this (although Mom still has veto power and there are definitely things that are off limits, like drugs and alcohol and sex....) and to relate to the decisions she is struggling to make. She is a great girl with a really good head on her shoulders and i think if i can help her understand how important making a good decision is then she will try to always make the best decision for her. It is up to her when she wants her first kiss to come, not mine or her dad's. As hard as it is to come to this realization, it is going to be even harder in practice. But hopefully, with a lot of reassurance and positive thinking, i can get through this. I am and always will be her mother, but my role of dictating behavior is over. She is a capable young adult who is struggling to find herself and her role among her peers. My job is to help her the best way i can, and that is to listen and give advice, not orders. Well those are my thoughts this morning. Sorry its been so long since i've updated this blog, but i have been very busy trying to work so that i can eventually graduate...keep your fingers crossed for me.
2 comments:
well well well...i did not know you also had a blog. i like it! what did that asshole do to lexie???
sorry we missed y'all. mom was a little late telling me that i needed to be there sooner, which i SO could have done had i known that y'all would be there for lunch instead of dinner (like mom and i discussed). we will be there for christmas, though. see y'all then!
Lexi's getting so grown up looking...tell her I said STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!
You raised two good kids, Jo, and I know it's hard but it seems like you are doing the right thing. It's hard for me not to get on a plane and come down there and kick his little booty for being such a punk. And I blame TV and videos for dipicting men/boys who treat girls badly as being the ones to try to date. Disgusting really. And his parents for not teaching him how to treat a woman well. I hope she makes good decisions and I think she will. She's got a pretty good role model;)
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